Sunday, March 19, 2006

Please Help

To all my dearest friends,
I need some help.
My cousin's cat had kittens and he was able to give away all but 3 of them. I told him I would help him find homes for the last 3. I can't take one because I am allergic, but if three of you could take just one it would be such a help and the kittens could have a nice home.
Since he lives by the Nuclear Power Plant, I'll go pick them up for you.
I've attached pictures of the last 3 kittens.
Will you help?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

New Jersey-ness

I Love New Jersey
If you've ever lived in Jersey...you'll appreciate this!!! If you
live somewhere else, you might find it interesting.

New Jersey is a peninsula.

Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern
seaboard, from Maine to Florida.

New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as
metropolitan areas.

New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.

New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.) than Havana, Cuba.

New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US.



New Jersey has the highest cost of living.

New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.

New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation.

New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as
the "Diner Capital of the World."

New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club (no, not Spam):
Taylor Ham or Pork Roll.

Home to the less mysterious but the best Italian hot dogs and Italian
sausage w/peppers and onions.

North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with
seven major ! shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.

New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.

The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John
P. Holland.

New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous:
Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape
May.

New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for water
quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.

New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest
chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.

Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.

New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production (and
here you thought Massachusetts?)

Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In 1642, the first
brewery in America, opened in Hoboken.

New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric
guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.

New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US,
located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes
through Elizabeth Seaport first.

New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports (in Newark),
Liberty International.

George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles
were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.

The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector,
were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory.

We also boast the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs.

The first seaplane was built in Keyport, NJ.

The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from Keyport, NJ.

The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ.

The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its
playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City.

And, Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world,

Not to mention salt water taffy,

New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle
East countries.

The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains.

New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. (Union, NJ!!!)

New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey City.

The Pulaski SkyWay, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway
highway.

NJ built the first tunnel under a river, the Hudson (Holland Tunnel).

The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the
birthplace of Frank Sinatra.

The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick in 1889
(Rutgers College played Princeton).

The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ, (but they're all
gone now!).

New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro football teams!

The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson, NJ.

The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ, by Maj. Thomas
Armstrong.

All New Jersey natives: Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen,
Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis,
Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick,
Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer,
Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Whitney Houston, Eddie
Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson,
Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar
Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny
DeVito, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Robert Blake, John Forsythe,
Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden
McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper,
Admiral Wm.Halsey,Jr., Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams, Ray
Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia,
"Uncle Floyd," Kelly Ripa, and, of course, Francis Albert Sinatra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you're from Jersey when . .

You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges."

You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.

A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned, or drunk, at 3 A.M.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you
know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that WaWa is a convenience store.

You know that the state isn't all farmland.

You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey--there's the
shore--and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the
shore." And when
you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are "down the
shore."

You know how to properly negotiate a circle.

You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving.

You know that this is the only "New" state that doesn't require
"New" to
identify it (try . . . Mexico . . York Hampshire-- doesn't work, does it?).

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain
AND a
fast food sandwich.

You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege

You don't think "What exit?" is very funny.

You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different."

Yes they are!

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton--that's for
out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or localbar.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.

You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people
from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to
Wildwood. It can be no other way.

You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in either North Jersey,
Central Jersey or South Jersey.

You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.

You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel,
Bamberger's and Orbach's.

You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.

You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally .

You've NEVER, NEVER pumped your own gas.

AMEN!

Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5: 00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is Public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you , you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist fro behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible . The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

For all you blondes out there

A blonde walks into a bank in Toronto and asks for the Loans Officer.

She tells the Loans Officer that she is going on a business trip to Europe for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.00.

The Loans Officer says that the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car was parked on the street outside the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The Loans Officer and the bank employees all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground parking garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blond returns, repays the $5,000 and interest, which comes to $15.41.

The Loans Officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000 ?"

The blonde replies..."Where else in Toronto can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it still to be there when I return?"

FINALLY A SMART BLONDE JOKE!

Naked Urges

You know sometimes I get the
sudden urge to run around naked.
But then I just drink some Windex.
It keeps me from streaking.

Well Shit!

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the Englis h language.

Consider:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.


When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Sony Settles Out of Court

Sony has settled a class action lawsuit related to the whole rootkit fiasco out of court and you may be entitled to part of the settlement if you were a victim.

The following is an email sent to me by Sony BMG. This is real...I am on their official mailing list because I am a long time member of BMG Music Club and subscribe to email notifications rather than snail mail ones that require me to run to a mail box and mail the cards back in to keep from getting crap I don't want along with the bill for that crap.

from: class.settlement@sonybmg.com

***IMPORTANT LEGAL NOTICE/SOFTWARE UPDATE NOTICE***PLEASE READ*** (Please do not respond to this email. Responses will not be read.)

If You Bought, Received or Used a SONY BMG Music Entertainment CD Containing Either XCP or Media Max Content Protection Software, Your Rights May Be Affected By a Class Action Settlement, And You Should Download Updates For That Software.

What is this about?

A settlement has been proposed in a lawsuit brought against SONY BMG Music Entertainment, Inc., SunnComm International Inc., and First 4 Internet, Ltd. ("Defendants"). The lawsuit, In re SONY BMG CD Technologies Litigation, Case No. 1:05-cv-09575-NRB, is pending in the United States District Court for the Southern District of New York and relates to XCP and MediaMax content protection software installed on certain SONY BMG music CDs.

The Settlement resolves claims that the Defendants manufactured and sold CDs containing XCP and MediaMax software without adequately disclosing the limitations the software imposes on the use of the CDs and the security vulnerabilities it creates. The Defendants have denied that they did anything wrong.

Who Is Included, And What Does The Settlement Provide?

The settlement provides relief for persons who bought, received or used SONY BMG CDs with either XCP or MediaMax software. Under the settlement, any person in possession of an XCP CD can exchange it for a replacement CD, an MP3 download of the same album, and either (a) cash payment of $7.50 and one (1) free album download from a list of 200 albums, or (b) three (3) free album downloads from that list.
Purchasers of CDs containing MediaMax 5.0 software will receive a free
MP3 download of the same album and one (1) additional free album download. Purchasers of CDs containing MediaMax 3.0 software will receive a free MP3 download of the same album.

The settlement also requires the Defendants to stop manufacturing SONY BMG CDs with XCP or MediaMax 3.0 and 5.0 software and, until 2008: (1) make available updates to fix all known security vulnerabilities caused by XCP and MediaMax software; (2) provide software programs to uninstall XCP and MediaMax software safely; (3) fix any future security vulnerabilities discovered in MediaMax and any other content protection software placed on SONY BMG CDs; (4) provide independent verification that personal information about users of SONY BMG CDs has not and will not be collected through XCP or MediaMax; (5) waive certain provisions of the end user license agreements for XCP and MediaMax software; and
(6) ensure that any other content protection software will be clearly disclosed, independently tested and readily uninstalled.

At 9:15a.m. on May 22, 2006, the Court will hold a hearing at the United States District Court, Daniel Patrick Moynihan United States Courthouse, 500 Pearl Street, Courtroom 21A, New York, New York 10007-1312, to decide whether to approve the settlement and the class attorneys' fees and costs.

How Do I Participate In The Settlement?
If you bought or received a SONY BMG Music CD containing XCP or MediaMax software and want to receive the relief you may be eligible for under the settlement, you must submit an online claim form at www.sonybmgcdtechsettlement.com, or mail a claim form to:

SONY BMG CD Technologies Settlement
P.O. Box 1804, Faribault, MN 55021-1804

All claim forms must be submitted by December 31, 2006.

What Are My Other Options?

If you bought, received or used a SONY BMG Music CD containing XCP or MediaMax software, and you do not want to be legally bound by the settlement or receive a replacement CD, cash, free downloads or other relief, you must exclude yourself by May 1, 2006. If you do not exclude yourself, certain of your claims against the Defendants that were or could have been asserted in the lawsuit will be released, meaning you may not be able to sue the Defendants for those claims.
To view the detailed legal Notice of Proposed Class Action Settlement, Motion for Attorneys' Fees and Settlement Fairness Hearing and to download the software updates, visit www.sonybmgcdtechsettlement.com.
You may obtain further information by contacting the claims administrator at the address above or by calling toll free 1-800-242-7610.