Thursday, August 31, 2006

Home Remedies That Really Work

1. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives ... you will be too afraid to cough.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! - the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

6. Are you clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

And remember that the only two things you truly need in life are WD-40 and duct tape ...

... If it doesn't move, and it should, use the WD-40.

... If it moves, and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

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