Saturday, October 14, 2006

Cat Poop Cookies


Do you want chocolate or gingerbread flavored poop?

-CHOCOLATE INGREDIENTS:
1/2 c Honey
2/3 c (1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine,
1 Egg
1 tsp Vanilla or peppermint -extract
2 c Whole wheat flour
1/3 c Cocoa powder
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal

-GINGERBREAD INGREDIENTS:
1/4 c Honey
1/4 c Molasses
2/3 Cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine,
1 Egg
2 And 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
Spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste(maybe 1/2 tsp each)
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal

-MIX-INS (optional):
Coconut(tapeworms)
Chocolate chips
Butterscotch chips
Peanut butter chips
ramen noodles(roundworms)
Corn Peanuts M&Ms

There are two flavors-chocolate(dark brown), and gingerbread(light brown).

I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won't look like poop.

To make:

Microwave the honey till it bubbles(about 1 minute). Add the butter,(I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie)and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done(maybe 10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven you never know). Note: someone with a reliable oven says it'scloser to 20 minutes for him.(thanks paul!)

Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grapenuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven't tried it. I've been told that mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous."

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