Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Product Recall Announcement

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has
been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality", or more
commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee ! required. The number to call
for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload
your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download
ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE
(Believers-Instructions-Before-Leaving-Earth), for further details on
the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made
available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring
and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent
residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted
to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying
others of this important recall notice!!!

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