As We Slide Down the Banister of Life

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More
Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be
Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss... the
Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash
and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door
is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat
folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it
really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash
out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the
whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending
machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic
might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told
me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a
prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went
to see how he was and found him writing frantically on
a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and
he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to
bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for
enjoying sex.

AS WE SLIDE DOWN THE BANNISTER OF LIFE,

MAY ALL THE SPLINTERS NEVER POINT THE WRONG WAY!!!