Top 10 Reasons College Students Are Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break

10. You know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E
yet semi-edible furball.
9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing
with an ice cream scooper.
8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.
7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the
bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet
paper.
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger
than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for only four days.
5. To eat your meals, the only trek you'll have to make is from the
couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall...in
below freezing weather.
4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching here..." you
can be entertained by "when your mother was your age..." and "during
the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussel sprouts. Hell,
all we could afford was the sprout!"
3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in
your microwave
2. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.
1. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!