Signs You Went Nuts on Thanksgiving

1. You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses
2. Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
3. Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian
4. The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
5. The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland
6. You get grass stains on your butt after a walk, but you never sat down
7. Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist
8. You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
9. You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday
10. Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
11. You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games
12. A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"
13. That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
14. Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed
15. Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
16. You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty
17. It looks like the leftovers are gonna last until Christmas
18. Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this